ladka ladki funny sms n pati patni jokes

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Ladkiyo ki 5 baatain kabhi samjh nahi aati

1) Tum na bohat woh ho

(pata nahi woh se kya matlab hai? banda soch main per jaata hai)

2) Mujhe tum se ye umeed nahi thi.

(to phir kya umeed thi)

3) Tum pehle jaise nahi rahe.

(to phir main pehle kesa tha?)

4) Sach batana, main kaisi lag rahi hun.

(sach Bol kar pitna thori hay)

5) Im very selfish na.

(ab haan bol doon to gayi bhens pani mein)

Boy: Hello, Pammi darling… kaisi ho?

Girl: Who’s this?

Boy: Tera aashiq hun; jaaneman !!

Girl: Tu Bunty hai na.

Boy: Yes; but how do you know ?

Girl: Tu Bansilal ka beta hai na.

Boy: Yes but how you know me??

Girl: Tu Ramlal ka pota hai na…..

Boy: Yes !! but jaanu, tumhe ye sab kaise pata?

Girl: Bunty Haramkhor; kutte, mai teri Maa hun!!

Tune ‘Pummi’ ko nahi, ‘Mummi’ ko phone lagaya hai!!

मेरी Girlfriend ने मुझे घर बुलाया… मैं घर गया और Bell बजाई

उसकी छोटी sister ने दरवाजा खोला… वो बहुत सुन्दर थी

वो मुस्करा के बोली आप बहुत smart हो, अभी घर में कोई नहीं हैं मैं अकेली हूँ

मैं मुस्कराया और मैं Bike की तरफ वापस जाने लगा…

तो उसकी पूरी famly बहार आ गई

मेरी सराफत की तारीफ करते हुए मुझे गले

लगाया और कहा हमें ये रिश्ता मंजूर है .

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अब मैं क्या बताऊँ…??

के मैं Bike को lock करने गया था..मेरी Girlfriend ने मुझे घर बुलाया… मैं घर गया और Bell बजाई

उसकी छोटी sister ने दरवाजा खोला… वो बहुत सुन्दर थी

वो मुस्करा के बोली आप बहुत smart हो, अभी घर में कोई नहीं हैं मैं अकेली हूँ

मैं मुस्कराया और मैं Bike की तरफ वापस जाने लगा…

तो उसकी पूरी famly बहार आ गई

मेरी सराफत की तारीफ करते हुए मुझे गले

लगाया और कहा हमें ये रिश्ता मंजूर है .

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अब मैं क्या बताऊँ…??

के मैं Bike को lock करने गया था..

Girl to shopkeeper: Bhaiya aap ke pas aisa valentine card hai jisme likha ho..

‘U R MY 1st and would be my Last LOVE..?

Shopkeeper: Haan Hai..!

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Girl: Theek hai 20 de do.

Maine ek ladki ki madad ki to..

usne muje thank u bola.

Maine kaha thank u mat kaho…

ye lo mera Number aur 3 ladkiyo ko dena

Aur un se kaho k ye

aur 3 ladkiyo ko de…  :-D  (jai jo dialogs but in funny mood)

Ladki patane ka tarika..

Chupke se usko piche jakar pakad lo

Agar hasi to samjo FASI

&

Agar gussa huyi to zor zor se chillao

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DIDI DAR GAYI

DIDI DAR GAYI!! (Akshay Kumar dialogs from bhagam bhag) 

A man got a call from unknown number..

Girl: Hi, r u single?

Man: Yes, but who r u?

Ans: Your wife..

Aaj ghar aana tab bataoogi.

Another call from unknown number..

Girl: R u married?

Man: Yes, but who R u?

Girl: Your girlfriend, U cheat..

Man: Sorry baby, I thought it was my wife..

Ans: Wife hi hoon kutte, aaj tu bas ghar aaja..

Research se pata chala hai ki…

Wife se pyaar se baat karne se

Insaan ki tension kam hoti hai

Heart attack ka khatra 80% kam ho jata hai

Mind 90% time relax rehta hai

Stress level 95% tak normal pe aa jata hai

Bas ek baat ka dhyan rakhen

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WIFE APNI NA HO...

What is wife?

Fauji: Sare dusman hum se darte hai aur hum biwi se.

Mochi: Me juto ki mrammat karta hu aur biwi meri .

Teacher: Me school me lecture deta hu aur ghar me biwi se sunta hu.

Officer: Me office me boss hu aur gahr me nokar.

Judge: Me court me faisle sunata.. hu aur ghar me khud insaf ka talabgar.

{Faisla aap ke hath me hai.. kuware raho khush raho no wife easy life}

Jo shadi kar chuke hai vo sabar kare,

Jin ki nahi hui woh shukr karein!! :D

Train me ek Husband apni beautiful wife se jhagda karte huye ..

Tujhse Shaadi karke pachta raha hu,

Dil karta hai tujhe kutto ke aage daal du.

Saamne wala passenger..

Bhow, Bhow Bhow, Bhow .. 

Boy ki engagement 1 bohut Khubsurat Ladki se fix hui…

Woh dono pure din rat whatsap se baat kiya karte rehte the.

Akhir vo raat aahi gaii..

ush raat ladka, ladki ka ghoonghat uthaakar bola..

Tum wakai hi bahut khubsurat ho… Tumhe kya gift karu..

Ladki sharmati hui boli….

“Do aap taa Dill Tale….”.

MORAL: Kam se kam ek call toh kar lena chahiye tha, Bus dekh liya whats aap ka natija. :shock:D

Difference between talent and god’s gift:

A man can give lecture for 2 hrs on any subject.

-This is talent.

A woman can give lecture for 2 hrs without any subject.

-This is god’s gift.

Girls Mohabbat to kisi 1 se karungi,

Ho sake to kisi nek se karungi,

Lekin jab tak na milega wo nek ladka

‘TRY’ to har 1 ko karungi..

Specially for girls

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You can never lose weight,

if

u keep eating BHAAV every time.

Girls ki problem

Simple ladke pasand nahi,

Modern ladke sincere nahi,

Ranbir kapoor milta nahi,

aur

Main in chakkaro me padta nahi…..

Boy & Girl Playing Ludo…

Boy: Agar 1 se 5 me aaya to I Kiss u

Girl: What??

Acha aur 6 Aaya To

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Boy: Kabi Ludo Nahi Kheli Kya?

6 Aaya To dubara meri bari..

Dhadkan dil ki ruk jati hai,

Sanse aksar tham jati hai,

Bahut buri halat hoti hai yaaro,

Jab

Girlfriend se shadi karne ki naubat aati hai..!!

Height of Kaminapan:

A boy listening to extremely sad song and thinking..

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Kaunsi wali ko yaad karu yaar!!

Teri khamoshi aur

udasi ki wajah hum samajh na sake ae dost,

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Wo to shaam ko teri mummy ne bataya

ke aaj teri chappal se pitai hui hai!! :D

Girls smile creates great confusion in boys mind..

Ghanton tak samajh hi nahi aata..

ke hans ke dekh rahi hai

ya dekh ke hans rahi hai..!!

A Boy texts a girl

Boy: Hey!

Girl: Hi! What u doing?

Boy: texting the most beautiful girl in the world.

Girl: Aww How cute!

Boy: Ya! But She is not replying, so m texting U! 

Ladka aur Ladki ped k piche baithe

the,

Old man- Beta kya yehi hamari

Sanskriti hai??

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Boy- Nhi uncle ye to Anjali hai,

Aap kisi aur ped ke niche dekh

lo...